“I want to get well for my children, but I don’t know how,” she says, wiping her tears. Laila, a 36-year-old Pakistani expatriate who has lived in Dubai most of her life, has been facing a challenging set of circumstances for a while which has taken its toll on her mental health.

Her first child, a son, was born 15 years ago. However, he would be six months’ old before she would come to know that he suffered from a mental impairment. By the time her son was four, Laila had endured two miscarriages which left her devastated and uncertain about her dreams of having more children.

Finally, in 2007, she gave birth to another baby boy followed by the birth of her daughter in 2011, both of whom were healthy. Her joys of having a baby girl were, however, short-lived as she found herself unable to feel happy as she drifted into an unknown mental territory.

“I didn’t know what was happening. I had to force myself to do normal everyday things, I couldn’t cook, couldn’t smile, couldn’t even get out of bed for days,” said Laila, bursting into tears.

“I wanted to tell my husband but I couldn’t even talk. My tongue felt like it was stuck in the back of my throat,” she added

Upon her husband’s insistence, she visited an “affordable psychiatrist”.

“He told me that I was suffering from depression and that it was normal for women with children to endure this condition. He prescribed me some pills and told me that I would have to take them for life.”

The medicine made her feel like her old self again and life went back to normal. However, a handful of people who were aware of her condition advised her against taking the medication and to instead try other remedies. Some even advised her to fight her sadness instead of taking pills.

“A general practitioner told me that I would become addicted to the medicine, like a drug addict,” Laila said.

She soon stopped her medication without any professional guidance and her health plummeted. She started to feel worse than before. “I couldn’t stop crying, I was scared, I couldn’t do anything. It was horrible.”

The inability to run her household and look after her children prompted Laila to reluctantly go back on her medication.

Laila wants to seek a second opinion about her mental status but she cannot afford it. Her husband earns a salary of Dh5,000 and is the sole breadwinner of the family. Their oldest child attends a special needs school that costs over Dh40,000 a year which a community group has been covering.

The family of five lives in a small one-bedroom apartment with Laila cooking one inexpensive meal a day that is served for lunch and dinner.

“A visit to a psychologist is about Dh500. How can I spend this when I see my children don’t have nutritious food or decent clothes? My nine-year-old son has outgrown his clothes and only has one pair of trousers to wear. I can’t spend this money on doctor visits for myself,” she said.

She wishes she could consult another psychologist who could advise her on whether she really needs to take the medicine lifelong or if there is an alternative solution to treat her depression.

“We are only living here for my oldest son because there are no special needs schools in Pakistan,” said the distraught mother.

If you are aware of a professional psychologist who can help Laila or if you would like to help the family, please get in touch with our Readers 

source : gulfnews